Under the Kiss of a Blood Soaked Tree

A little girl sits
in a tree of severed arms
dripping dark blood
on her pretty white dress
making strange polka dot patterns
not quit right

She swings her legs in a careless fashion
she smiles,
too young to know the word
"terrified"
The sinners are silent

Carrion eaters attack the limbs
that hold her world together
the lies that adults wove
pecked apart

She's mesmerized by the way
her dress floats up and down
with the beating of their
large, dirty gray feathers

Tiny hands, now bloodied, reach
for the vulture's head
that comes between her legs

It squawks in revulsion
hops down
She is still of the living
no good for eating...yet

nothing stays alive or
innocent for long
even now the tree decays
feeding darkness'
hovering wings

Her dress,
drying to brown
purity disappears
from the surface

but hope's gentle kiss
blows the dust away
there's still
the whites of
her eyes.

A taste

Urges within
welling up
taking over
rational thought
your scent
makes
me hungry
I desire
a taste
of your
salty flesh
your maleness
driving me
mad
I need you
now
to come
and release
us both
from
lust

Insanity

Your fear
of the beast within
is visible
your pupils
are dialated
your hands shake
the pulse in your neck
flutters frantically
Your fear
of the beast within
is audible
your breathe is shallow
as you feign calm
your steps light
as you back away
Your fear of the beast within
is salty
with a bitter aftertaste
dry as you try to speak
bravado, false tones deep
Your fear of the beast within
touches all
that are around you
none can miss
the cold hands
of panic
as you try to escape
your fate
instead of
embracing your
destiny
The eyes you
walk away from
reflect
the truth
Your fear of the beast within
has disabled you
and that, my love,
is insanity.

Fighting Again...the ex landlord this time! Very Rough Draft

Mr. B.M;                                                                                                10/05/10

I am very upset about the deposit I just received today on 10/05/10.  I feel that I have been deceived and cheated.  I did the walk-through with Mr. X (property manager) on Friday, Oct. 1, 2010 at 4:30 p.m.  I was told that everything looked great, thanks for taking good care of the house and that he was sorry to see me go.  I would be receiving my deposit back minus the water bill on Oct. 4^th, 2010 (note date discrepancy).

I find it very shocking that you would do your own walk-through and decide without consulting me what was wrong with the property.  You took action steps on items that could have easily been worked out and done for free by me, had they been legitimate damage done by me and not your previous pet owner, smoking tenants.

I am disputing the water bill, there is no way that it was that high ($121.00).  I vacated the premises on Oct. 17^th.  I realize you and your father have access to the garage and perhaps you changed the watering system unbeknownst to me? My average water bill was approximately $75.00 over the 12 months, please see enclosed copies. Since you also never fixed the water heater for August, I was also unable to shower most of the time on the premises. There was also no point in using the dishwasher. If anything, the water bill should have been less.

I also am arguing with the pet stain on the carpet.  There were no pets in the house.  My cat disappeared a long time ago.  Maybe it was a juice spill from my kids, this could have been cleaned by my steam cleaner for free, had you pointed it out to me during the walk-through that should have been done together.  However, please remember that the carpets were done after I moved in, so they only cleaned around my furniture, not under it. As it was not noticed in the walk-through with the property manager, you have no right to charge me $85.00 for that.

I apologize for the broken light switch.  I sincerely doubt that it costs $10.00 to replace.  Again, I would have replaced it for the $.89 - $2.00 on my own had it been pointed out to me. I would like the receipts for everything, please.

I would also like to remind you and your property manager how filthy, cigarette-filled, dusty and spider/insect infested the house and garage was before I moved in.  The carpet and floors were also fur packed and mite infested (me and my children ended up with reactions from it).  My mother and I took pictures to document the work that had to be done by me, my family and friends before I could move in.  This took a week that a housekeeping service would have easily charged you a $100 or more a day for.I would also liked to have pointed out that you asked me to keep the front lawn and butterfly bushed alive.  I did so, at my expense.

After I moved out, you were left with an entirely clean-smelling, spotless house and garage, that anyone could have moved in the second I stepped out.  I left it way better than I found it.

Please refund me the rest of my money.

Sincerely,

SMA

Them

Don't understand why
I let you hold my hand,
dry my tears
and hold me close to your heart
I hear nothing beating there

Don't understand why
I let you abuse me
bring me down
constantly tear me to pieces
to patch me up
smaller than
the original

Don't understand why
all these people
I let in
keep hurting me
my eyes are wide shut
my ears, my mouth
I'm mute

Don't understand how
I can take much more of
the silent, empty spaces
the soullessnes
Frozen touches
my teardrops
shattering my being

It's just too much

If the truth must hurt
that you're simply
a reflection of me
A reminder of lessons
unlearned, then
I'm done.
I hurt too much.

Dear God,
I'm done.

It's Done

Violent Screaming
Over and Over
Rage
Uncontrollable
threatens to engulf this house
of silence
and Zen
he's gone

the lone occupant
weeping
over spilled dirt
torn leaves
broken glass
drops of red

wishing
it had been me
who had left
this perfect expression
of destruction
desecration
of well-loved property

instead
I just
SCREAM

I can't anymore

No tears
why cry
it's done
clean it up

pulling out my hair
sinking to the ground
tidy it up, hide it away

the house
of silence
and Zen
returns
chaos
is
done

Contract Dispute With a Franchise - Your Opinion Please

BACKGROUND

I got divorced and now I'm financially unstable.  I needed out of an expensive contract that I signed with Carson ATA Black Belt Academy, LLC.  I contacted the owner's wife and she told me that she would let me out of my one year contract. I got a phone call the next day on the answering machine that they could not let me out of the contract.  I sent the following e-mail:

"I am very upset by ATA's decision.  As stated by the divorce decree, if the second party does not agree to the children's activities/education/etc. and cost, then they do not have to support said activities. I am now a single income family that cannot support her children beyond the minimal (food, clothing, shelter).  This is not the typical case of, "I no longer feel like paying". I am also in the process of losing my vehicle which I can't afford to fuel up 1/2 the time. So I cannot consistently transport them from Dayton to Carson anyway. This is also something that the ex is not required to help with.

I am extremely humbled and embarrassed by my current situation.  I would love the luxury of giving my children more than the normal upbringing.  But at this time, I currently, simply, cannot afford to. 

I am also writing to inform you that the account the direct withdrawal was pulling from is no longer valid, there are no funds available to pay. As you had advice me, I am sending this to formally cancel the contract..."

When I went to print all the e-mails and give the answering machine message to a lawyer...well, all e-mails from both of my accounts and the message on my answering machine were mysteriously deleted.

A Bitter Life Lesson - Contracts (send to a newspaper?)

I have recently joined the ranks of struggling single mother with two children to support.  I received no financial support for myself or my children in the divorce.  I am still responsible for half the debt incurred while married, which includes 100% of the payments for an upside down car that consumes far too much gasoline, all medical, increased insurance rates, and now…rent.  So my cost of living went up usurping my whole paycheck, and forcing the occasional need to beg for money from my parents.  Naturally, trying to prove myself independent, I forced myself to adhere to a stricter budget, cutting the extras and buying nothing without a coupon or an accompanying sale. Telling your kids, “No, sorry, but we can’t afford it.” Well, it hurts at first and then less after the millionth time.  Sad that my children finish my mantra before I do.

The bitter life lesson has to do with cutting one of the extras, but realizing I had reluctantly signed a contract in January 2010.  I remembered questioning the owner about it, because of the impending divorce and having to move further away to find reasonable rent. I was worried about the potential loss of income and not being able to afford it. Pressured by their guilt trip on how this was good for my kids, I signed.  I agreed to try for a one year.  Now I am frantically trying to reconcile my memories of the verbal reassurances versus the cold unyielding print. The unyielding black ink also showed that she signed me up for 2 years and I didn't catch it. I had a bad feeling and that turned into major anxiety after a couple of phone calls and e-mails.  The karate place on the south end of Carson City, Nevada has decided to paint itself into the stereotypical image of a soulless corporate America.

First, I was told that they would dismiss the contract because of my financial situation.  Then I was told they would work with me.  The end result was that they still want me to pay for six months of karate for two children that will not be able to attend.  They will only dismiss a contract if I move out of state.  They do not allow for a divorce or loss of income. They want the full $1200.  A big something for a whole lot of nothing.  They have broken the broken the boards over my head and now are sticking the splintered pieces into my wounds.  They are adding manual billing fees and late fees.  They are calling me and demanding payment. Should I waste my time with a free consultation about the contract with a lawyer that I couldn’t possibly afford?  Nope!  So instead, I went to a bankruptcy lawyer.

Unbelievable! Bankruptcy, in theory, would leave me with money to meet daily living expenses.  I will get to keep all the things that that I was cutting down or out, that Karate for Kids is currently trying to take away from me by demanding payment for services not rendered.  But still, I’d prefer not to file.  It also requires more money to hire the lawyer that I don’t have, and the signing of another contract.  Yes, being a single mom feels impossible sometimes and has shot my credit to hell.  It is all brought upon myself through ignorance of the business world. But at least I learned, NEVER trust anyone's verbal integrity.  If it’s not in writing, it’ll screw you. And if it is in writing, well, it’ll still screw you.