Tarnished Image

Your image of me is now tarnished
You can't forgive me for being human
I see what you see
it hurts, reflected back at me

Though you don't realize it
it seems the old saying,
"familiarity breeds contempt"
I feel it rise it in you
and I'm helpless to stop it.

Resentment rears its ugly head
How dare you judge me
When did you become perfect?
Perfection is inhuman, by the way!

Now alone, I wonder
where is this road going?
Do I want to follow?
Is there still time to repair
the facade that you think is me?

Shoulders shrug up, tears fall down
It's time to say, "Go to hell. I didn't
ask you to change!  How dare you
ask me to?!"

I am the good, the bad
I have the ugly, the beautiful
I travel like the roller coaster
Understand that we do this together!
Where is your self-awareness?

Soon, your image may be
as tarnished in my mind
as I am in yours.
Can you handle that in my eyes,
seeing yourself in return
reflection?

Somehow, I don't think so...

Order, please!

You can't help it, can you?
The need for control, the need for order
somehow it's genetically programmed into you

You look at me and know
I have half your genes
how can it be that I am so disgustingly
disordered?

I feel your pain come off in waves
the curses in Japanese start
I shrug
it's MY house now
not yours
and I will do what I want

I love my piles of
clothes, books
bills, food, mess in general
I know what's there
and it comforts me

Can't you just be happy
I'm clean
and just accept
I'm
just cluttered
I promise
there's nothing dead under there!

You look around
helplessly touch
I glare
"Don't!"

You beg, "Organize, please!"
I laugh
and you leave
offended
I still love you, mommy
Stop conditionally
loving me!