Saturday, October 30, 2010


Your fear
of the beast within
is visible
your pupils
are dialated
your hands shake
the pulse in your neck
flutters frantically
Your fear
of the beast within
is audible
your breathe is shallow
as you feign calm
your steps light
as you back away
Your fear of the beast within
is salty
with a bitter aftertaste
dry as you try to speak
bravado, false tones deep
Your fear of the beast within
touches all
that are around you
none can miss
the cold hands
of panic
as you try to escape
your fate
instead of
embracing your
The eyes you
walk away from
the truth
Your fear of the beast within
has disabled you
and that, my love,
is insanity.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Fighting Again...the ex landlord this time! Very Rough Draft

Mr. B.M;                                                                                                10/05/10

I am very upset about the deposit I just received today on 10/05/10.  I feel that I have been deceived and cheated.  I did the walk-through with Mr. X (property manager) on Friday, Oct. 1, 2010 at 4:30 p.m.  I was told that everything looked great, thanks for taking good care of the house and that he was sorry to see me go.  I would be receiving my deposit back minus the water bill on Oct. 4th, 2010 (note date discrepancy).

I find it very shocking that you would do your own walk-through and decide without consulting me what was wrong with the property.  You took action steps on items that could have easily been worked out and done for free by me, had they been legitimate damage done by me and not your previous pet owner, smoking tenants.

I am disputing the water bill, there is no way that it was that high ($121.00).  I vacated the premises on Oct. 17th.  I realize you and your father have access to the garage and perhaps you changed the watering system unbeknownst to me? My average water bill was approximately $75.00 over the 12 months, please see enclosed copies. Since you also never fixed the water heater for August, I was also unable to shower most of the time on the premises. There was also no point in using the dishwasher. If anything, the water bill should have been less.

I also am arguing with the pet stain on the carpet.  There were no pets in the house.  My cat disappeared a long time ago.  Maybe it was a juice spill from my kids, this could have been cleaned by my steam cleaner for free, had you pointed it out to me during the walk-through that should have been done together.  However, please remember that the carpets were done after I moved in, so they only cleaned around my furniture, not under it. As it was not noticed in the walk-through with the property manager, you have no right to charge me $85.00 for that.

I apologize for the broken light switch.  I sincerely doubt that it costs $10.00 to replace.  Again, I would have replaced it for the $.89 - $2.00 on my own had it been pointed out to me. I would like the receipts for everything, please.

I would also like to remind you and your property manager how filthy, cigarette-filled, dusty and spider/insect infested the house and garage was before I moved in.  The carpet and floors were also fur packed and mite infested (me and my children ended up with reactions from it).  My mother and I took pictures to document the work that had to be done by me, my family and friends before I could move in.  This took a week that a housekeeping service would have easily charged you a $100 or more a day for.I would also liked to have pointed out that you asked me to keep the front lawn and butterfly bushed alive.  I did so, at my expense.

After I moved out, you were left with an entirely clean-smelling, spotless house and garage, that anyone could have moved in the second I stepped out.  I left it way better than I found it.

Please refund me the rest of my money.



Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Don't understand why
I let you hold my hand,
dry my tears
and hold me close to your heart
I hear nothing beating there

Don't understand why
I let you abuse me
bring me down
constantly tear me to pieces
to patch me up
smaller than
the original

Don't understand why
all these people
I let in
keep hurting me
my eyes are wide shut
my ears, my mouth
I'm mute

Don't understand how
I can take much more of
the silent, empty spaces
the soullessnes
Frozen touches
my teardrops
shattering my being

It's just too much

If the truth must hurt
that you're simply
a reflection of me
A reminder of lessons
unlearned, then
I'm done.
I hurt too much.

Dear God,
I'm done.