Sunday, December 6, 2009

Couldn't Cross

A child. . .of mine?
Who
 would you
have looked like
no bigger than my palm
you came out violently
I barely knew
 you were there
I had an uneasy feeling
but ignorance was bliss
until
the pain of cramps
a rush of blood
tears and screams
of horror
you came out
looking inhuman
guilt of my knowing
you weren't
really wanted
there were three
in poverty
already
you would've
never known
you would've
been accepted
eventually
loved
for I am not a mother
who could deny
an innocent child
so I bury you
in my garden
three feet under
should it be six?
I pray
as I place the rocks
that the soul
that would've crossed
the threshold to mortality
wasn't around
to know the pain
of loss
as you slipped out
too early
to know
life

7 comments:

  1. Ah... I'm kinda speechless... but I do have some critical comments pertaining to style.

    Email me if you're interested.

    ReplyDelete
  2. yes, as Yodood says, the threshold from birth to life bypassed. You portray the emotions felt by someone in the situation vividly (for example, feelings of guilt). It feels personal. The way you lay the words out reminds me of contractions.

    ReplyDelete
  3. wow, this one is tight with emotion...i am sorry for your loss and of the child that was...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes, it would've been a child I'm sure I would've soon have had calling me "Auntie". I would never know her pain, I just felt pain for her.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @jeffscape - thanks for the constructive criticism.

    ReplyDelete