Stupid

Stupid
for falling in love again
for believing in a new set of lies

Stupid
for trusting that I could be me, good and bad
for thinking that you'd care enough to accept me

Stupid
for listening to your idealistic views of marriage
for hoping that you meant it to be applied to both parties

Stupid
for my faith in you, that you'd keep me safe, even from myself
that you'd always follow, even from a distance, relieved I'm unharmed

Stupid
for not seeing the signs in front of me that you didn't pick me for love
that I'm a tool to be used for another purpose, ultimate revenge upon another

Stupid
because I don't have the answer on how to untangle myself from my own ego's idiocy
so public will be the downfall, the victorious smirks of my enemies already imprinted in my brain

Dear God, Why am I always so stupid?